No matter how well-intended coaches may be, they still can fall into the behavior that was common when they grew up, namely the “tough love” coaching style.
While it was once common for coaches to be viewed as taskmasters, rather than bullies, sports psychology has furthered our knowledge of how this can hurt players, especially at a young age.
Just as a good coach can keep a sports kids’ interest in sports alive, bully coaches who use harsh words and negativity will undermine kids’ interest in sports.
You should first talk to the coach to try to communicate your concerns, framing the concerns as worrying about your child’s self-confidence as opposed to telling the coach he is a bad coach or a bully.
If the coach does not listen or change how he is treating your child, it is best that you consider moving your child to a different team or talking to a league or school administrator about the coach.
Listen to our interview with the sports mom here and how she dealt with a bully coach:
Related Sports Psychology Articles
- What Can Parents Do When Coaches Bully Their Sports Kids?
- How Parents and Coaches Can Cope with Bullying in Sports
- How Youth Sports Coaches Can Build Resilience in Kids
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The Confident Sports Kid
When kids lack confidence, they doubt themselves, stop taking risks, play tentatively, and are hard on themselves. As a result, kids often lose their motivation to improve. Ultimately, these barriers keep them from enjoying sports and making the most of their physical talent.
“The Confident Sports Kid” program is actually two programs: one that teaches sports parents how to boost their kids’ confidence, and another that teaches young athletes age 8 to 18 how to improve their self talk, avoid negative thinking, overcome expectations that limit confidence, and much more. The program will help kids boost their confidence in sports and life…and enjoy sports more.
A coach has gotten up in my grandsons face and jerked him up by his jersey. I don’t think they have any right to jerk a HS player by the jersey. This is abusive behavior in my eyes.
Would this happen if it was your grandson’s teacher in class? Probably not.